sushinfood:

how do children EXIST

(Source: toocooltobehipster, via condom)

riddlemehiddleston:


This came into work today. I shortlisted it and displayed it on my cafe counter.
The back said something like “He is into BDSM. (Batman, Dragons, Star Wars, and Magic the Gathering).”
The first paragraph starts like this:

“I growl with frustration at my reflection in the mirror. My hair is fifty shades of messed up. Why is it so kinky and out of control? I need to stop sleeping with it wet. As I brush my long brown hair, the girl in the mirror brown eyes too big for her, stares back at me. Wait… my eyes are blue! It dawns on me that I haven’t been looking in the mirror—I’ve been staring at a poster of Kirsten Stewart for the past five minutes. My own hair is fine.”


my own hair is fine
oh my god where can i buy this

riddlemehiddleston:

This came into work today. I shortlisted it and displayed it on my cafe counter.

The back said something like “He is into BDSM. (Batman, Dragons, Star Wars, and Magic the Gathering).”

The first paragraph starts like this:

“I growl with frustration at my reflection in the mirror. My hair is fifty shades of messed up. Why is it so kinky and out of control? I need to stop sleeping with it wet. As I brush my long brown hair, the girl in the mirror brown eyes too big for her, stares back at me. Wait… my eyes are blue! It dawns on me that I haven’t been looking in the mirror—I’ve been staring at a poster of Kirsten Stewart for the past five minutes. My own hair is fine.”

my own hair is fine

oh my god where can i buy this

(Source: m3lodigression, via askdatcosplayer)

actionables:

today this guy told me that my dress made my ass look fat (he sad it as a 'compliment') and obviously since it was 8:30 I was too tired for that shit and I replied with 'saying my ass is fat wont make your dick any bigger' and when he tried to defend himself saying his dick was big enough I told him that it doesn’t count if he shoved two thirds of it in his personality and he just looked at me completely defenseless AND BASICALLY I STOLE THAT LINE FROM HERE BUT I SLAYED

(Source: actionables, via intensional)

deansass:

the-kellic-ship:

deansass:

dear Australians,

Canada has less people than California alone, and we’re the 2nd biggest country in the world. Gay rights are fully legal, abortion is legal, no racism or descrimination of any kind is allowed, free healthcare, and we have moose. Come live here, we have lots of space!

sincerely,

Canadians

can Americans come too

no

(Source: deansass, via thatsalotofsalad)