I kinda wanna make this private.. but I don’t really like to believe that people worry and look at my shit like nosey people anyway :o
That means you Faiza.
In the past few days I’ve really lost a lot of respect for a few different people. I won’t say who. But I know. It’s not for anything really obvious anyway. I’m really open-minded. Like crazy.
I’m a bit pissy actually. Feeling the selfish flattery of knowing guys would actually sleep with you, want to sleep with you, every one.. but the guy you like. Feeling so much relation to him because of how similar his life is to yours.
But what those other guys did. What they wanted to do.
Disgusting. Unacceptable. I really lowered my standards that night.
Humanity is really lost for me.
I just. Want to. Burn everything. Yes? My friends.. they are amazing. Flaws and all. But I just want to set everything on fire. Clean the trash. My life. My creations. Me.
That sounds weird. My morals are so.. high though. I’m not religious. I don’t care about drinking and drugs and other crap. I DON’T. I could do it if I wanted to. I just don’t need it.
What I need is security. Hope. Faith. In people. I want everyone to be innocent. Everyone to be nice.
But they aren’t.
I want to be. I like to believe I am. But I was so tempted.. to just do. Instead of think.
My heart is killing me because of my thoughts and I HAVEN’T even BEGUN.
And I have to stop because of my worries.
Everyone thinks I’m soo strong. So brave. But I’m not. I’m worried. I’m worried about everyone I hold dear :c Everyday.
But then I only cater to myself.